En
conmemoración a nuestro 25avo.
(Aniversario de Plata) de Graduación...
25 Chistes mongos bilingües de sapos, condones, matrimonio, golf, curas, Viagra y otras temas oscuros de nuestras vidas post graduación 1977.....
(1)
El Sapo de los Ojos Brillantes
Un tipo estaba desesperado porque la naturaleza lo había dotado de un considerable trozo: 15 pulgadas , y cada vez que iba a tener sexo las mujeres salían corriendo espantadas.
Un día se encuentra con un amigo y le cuenta su problema. El amigo sorprendentemente le ofrece la solución:
"Para solucionar tu problema tienes que viajar al Amazonas y buscar al sapito de los ojos brillantes. Una vez que lo encuentres le preguntas '¿Sapito, sapito, me chupas el pito?', el sapito te va a contestar que NO y automáticamente se te va a reducir el pito 3 pulgadas
Luego de una
larga discusión con el amigo pensando que se estaba burlando de su
desgracia este hombre decide que no tiene nada que perder y emprende su viaje
hacia el Amazonas. Una vez ahí se interna en la selva en busca del
sapito de los ojos brillantes. Al cabo de varias horas de caminata y ante
su sorpresa encuentra en medio de un estanque al sapito de los ojos brillantes.
Todavía medio incrédulo se acerca al sapito y le dice:
- ¿Sapito, sapito, me chupas el pito?
A lo que el sapito responde
- NO
Y automáticamente se le reduce el pito 3 pulgadas . El tipo reflexiona
y decide que 12 pulgadas es todavía es demasiado y por ende le vuelve
a preguntar al sapito:
- ¿Sapito, sapito, me chupas el pito
Y ante el segundo NO del sapito se le reduce el pito a 9 pulgadas.
Bueno piensa este hombre 9 pulgadas no esta nada mal pero todavía puede
que sea demasiado. Entonces decide acercarse al sapito por ultima vez y preguntarle:
- ¿Sapito, sapito, me chupas el pito
Y el sapito responde
- Te dije que NO, NO y NO.
(2) The Scientist and the Frog
There once was
a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the frog on the
ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet.
So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "frog with four feet, jumps four
feet."
So the scientist cut off one of one of the frogs legs. The scientist told the frog to jump. Frog jumped three feet. So the scientist wrote in his note book, "frog with three feet, jumps three feet."
So the scientist cut of another leg. He told the frog to jump. The frog jumped two feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook "frog with two feet, jumps two feet."
The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump. Frog jumped one foot. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "frog with one foot, jumps one foot."
So the scientist cut off his last leg.
"He said, "Frog jump. Frog jump. FROG JUMP!"
So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."
(3) The Condom Display
A man walks into
a drug store with his 13-year old son. They walk by the condom display and
the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men
use them to have safe sex."
"Oh," replied the boy. "Yes I've heard of that in health class
at school."
He picks up a
package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one
for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy.
He notices a
6-pack and asks, "Then who are these for?
"Those are for college men," the dad answers."Two for Friday,
two for Saturday, and two for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the
boy.
"Then who
uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replies, "Those are for married men. One for January,
one for February, one for.....
(4) Viagra Takes Away Appetite
One morning a
long-wed couple were in an amourous embrace and the wife says: "Honey,
that Viagra is so wonderful, let me fix us a nice full breakfast... eggs,
bacon, toast..."
The husband says: "No, I'm not hungry, the viagra takes away my appetite."
Later in the day, the wife says: "Sweetheart, I want to do something for you, let me fix you a nice wholesome lunch, fresh salad with your favorite ingredients, steamed veggies, and some grilled fish fillets..."
The husband again refuses, "I'm just not hungry after using that viagra."
Long about dinner time, the wife tries again, "Are you hungry yet?, I'll fix a steak and potatoes dinner with hot rolls."
The husband still refuses, "No, that Viagra just kills my appetite."
The wife then firmly says "well, I'm getting something to eat, so get OFF of me!!!"
(5) El Muchacho y los 3 Preservativos
Un muchacho va
a la farmacia y le dice al farmacéutico: -Señor, deme un preservativo.
Mi novia me ha invitado a comer esta noche a su casa, ya venimos saliendo
tres meses y está que se me chorrea a cada rato, la pobre está
calientísima y parece que ya quiere que le ponga el termómetro.
El farmacéutico le despacha el preservativo, el jovencito sale de la
farmacia y regresando le dice: -Señor, mejor deme otro, porque la hermana
de mi novia también está buenísima y me manda unas cruzadas
de piernas terribles, le veo hasta las entrañas, así que parece
que también quiere algo y como voy a ir a comer a su casa.......
El farmacéutico le da el segundo y el arrogante muchachito sale y vuelve
a regresar, dice:
-Mire señor, mejor deme otro más, porque la mamá de mi
chica está recontra buena. La vieja, cuándo no está a
la vista mi enamorada, me para toqueteando y me manda unas insinuaciones,
que me tiene loco y como me han invitado a comer.......
Llega la hora de la comida, y el muchacho sentado a la mesa con su chica,
tiene al lado, la hermana y a la mamá al frente. En es instante entra
el papá de la chica y se sienta también a la mesa; el muchacho
baja inmediatamente la cabeza, une las manos y empieza rezar:
- Señor, bendice estos alimentos,... bbzzz, bbzzz,bbzzz, ..... te damos
gracias por estos alimentos...
Pasa un minuto y el muchacho seguía con la cabeza baja, rezando:
- Gracias Señor por estos dones, bbzzz, bbzzz, bbzzz.... Pasan cinco
minutos y seguía: Bendice Señor este pan, bbzzz, bzzz,bbzzz,....
Pasan más de diez minutos y el muchacho seguía con la cabeza
baja, rezando.
Todos se miran sorprendidos y la enamorada le dice al oído:
-Mi amor, no sabía que fueras tan creyente
-Y yo no sabía que tu papá era el farmacéutico.!!!!!
(6) A nun, a priest and a camel
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third
day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves
off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period
of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive
more than a day or two."
"I agree," says the Father, "Sister, since we are unlikely
to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?"
"Anything father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see
yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."
The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts,
commenting frequently on their beauty.
"Sister would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he
fondled them for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes sister?"
"I have never seen man's privates. Could I see yours?"
"I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied, lifting his robe.
"Oh father, may I touch it?"
This priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling, he was sporting
a huge erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert my privates in the right place, it
can give life."
"Is that true father?"
"Yes, it is, sister."
"Then why don't you stick it in that camel and let's get the hell out
of here?"
(7) Conejito
Estaba la Jirafita
en la selva a punto de fumarse una pito de marijjjjuana cuando aparece el
conejito quien venia corriendo y le dice, que haces jirafita? No fumes esa
porquería que te hace mal y veni a correr conmigo vas a ver que bien
que te hace.
La jirafa piensa un ratin, mira el yeyo , mira el conejo, tira el yeyo a la
mixrda y dice "tenes razon conejito vamos a correr".
En eso se encuentran con el rinoceronte que se estaba por pegar una línea
de cocaína y el conejito lo mira y le dice, "que haces rinoceroncito?
No tomes esa porquería que te hace mal y veni a correr con nosotros,
vas a ver que bien que te hace.
El rinoceronte piensa un poco y decide acompañar al conejito y la jirafa
a correr.
En eso aparece el leon, quien se estaba por dar una inyección de heroína.
El conejito lo mira y le dice, NO que haces leoncito, como vas a tomar esa
porquería que te hace tan mal, porque no dejas eso y venis a correr
con nosotros? vas a ver que bien que te hace.
El león lo mira, mira la inyección, lo mira de nuevo y le encaja
un gancho de derecha que le rompe todos los dientes.
La jirafa y el rinoceronte quedaron perplejos y le dicen al leoncito.
ESTAS LOCO? COMO LE VAS A PEGAR ASI? LO DESFIGURASTE!!.
El leoncito los mira y les dice: Ese conejito de mierda me tiene las bolas
llenas cada ves que toma éxtasis me hace correr todo el dia como un
hijo de pxta.
(8) Misc Viagra
Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra? A man took twelve pills and his wife died.
A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: "Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad."
How many doses
of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet, and it's
a whole new bulb.
If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If
that doesn't work, see a doctor!
Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute
ride.
(9) El Pirata
Un marinero y
un pirata se encuentran en un bar, y se empiezan a contar sus aventuras en
los mares.
El marinero nota que el pirata tiene una pierna de palo, un gancho en la mano
y un parche en el ojo.
El marinero le pregunta:
- ¿Y cómo terminaste con esa pierna de palo?
El pirata le responde:
- Estábamos en una tormenta en el mar y una ola me tiró al agua,
caí entre un montón de tiburones. Mientras mis amigos me agarraban
para subirme, un tiburón me arrancó la pierna de un mordisco.
- ¡Guau! -replicó el marinero- ¿Y qué te pasó
en la mano, por qué tienes ese gancho?
- Bien... -replicó el pirata- Estábamos abordando un barco enemigo
y mientras luchábamos con los otros marineros y las espadas, un enemigo
me cortó la mano.
- ¡Increíble! -dice el marinero- ¿Y qué te pasó
en el ojo?
- Una paloma que iba pasando se zurró y la caca me cayó en el
ojo.
- ¿Perdiste el ojo por una caquita de paloma? -replicó el marinero
incrédulamente.
- Bueno... -dice el pirata- ...era mi primer día con el gancho!!!!
(10)
DIARIO DE UN DESGRACIADO
Encontrado bajo unas cajas de carton, en la placita de Ponce de Leon.
Cuando era chiquito me regalaron un caballito de madera... y se murió.
Mi padre era un imbécil. Trabajaba en un banco y lo atraparon robando
bolígrafos.
Cuando nací, el doctor fue a la sala de espera y le dijo a mi padre:
"hicimos lo que pudimos... pero salió".
Mi madre nunca me dió el pecho porque decía que me quería
como un amigo.
Pronto me di cuenta de que mis padres me odiaban: mis juguetes para la bañera
eran una tostadora y una radio.
El último deseo de mi padre moribundo fue que me sentara en su regazo,
estaba en la silla eléctrica.
Cuando me secuestraron, los secuestradores mandaron a mi padre un trozo de
mi dedo. Mi padre dijo que queria más pruebas.
Un día me llamo una chica a casa diciendome: "ven a casa, no hay
nadie". Cuando llegue a su casa no habia nadie.
A mi mujer le gusta hablar conmigo despues de tener sexo. El otro día
me llamo a casa desde un motel.
Una vez me iba a suicidar tirandome de un decimo piso. Mandaron un cura para
ayudarme. Sus palabras de animo fueron: "preparados, listos...".
(11) Saquen sus biblias...
Un hombre esta
aburrido en su cuarto de hotel. Después de comprobar que no hay deportes
en la tele y de haber agotado el frigobar,
hojea distraidamente la Biblia que hay sobre la mesita de luz.
Parece animarse
y descuelga el teléfono.... y ......
- Recepción.
- Buenas tardes, señorita. ¿Tienen horarios de aviones?
- Pues no, lo siento.
- No importa, gracias. Por cierto, ¡qué voz tan agradable tiene
usted!, Me pregunto a qué hora termina su turno......
Sigue con toda su 'parla' y convence a la telefonista para que suba a su habitación. La telefonista sube y naturalmente terminan en la cama. Mientras disfrutan del segundo cigarrillo después del acto, la telefonista, con ojos risueños dice:
- ¡Quién
me iba a decir a mi que iba a terminar en la cama contigo!. Si apenas nos
conocemos....
- Pues yo lo sabía. Responde el tipo.
- ¡Que lo sabías! Y ¿Cómo?.
- Muy sencillo: está escrito en la Biblia.
- En la Biblia. ¡Qué me dices! ¿En qué capítulo?
¿En qué versículo? - No, no, aquí en la contratapa,
escrito con lapicera: LA TELEFONISTA ES REPUTTTTTXXXX
P'ARRIBA
OTRA VEZ
(12 ) TETOLOGIA
Un niño le pregunta a su padre:
- Papi.. ¿cuantos tipos de teeeetas hay?.
El padre sorprendido le responde:
- Mira hijo, todas las mujeres en su vida tienen 3 tipos de tetas:
Antes de los 20 las tienen como limones; duras y puntiagudas...
Hasta los 40 las tienen como peras, bonitas pero un poco caidas...
Y a partir de los 40 las tienen como las cebollas...
¿Cebollas.. papi?
- Si.. mi'jo...las ves y lloras...!!!
(13) PENELOGIA
Una niña le pregunta a su madre:
- Mami.. ¿cuantos tipos de peeenes hay?
La madre sorprendida le responde:
- Mira hija, los hombres durante su vida pasan por 3 fases:
Antes de los 29 son como el arbusto del jardin, duros y bien dispuestos...
Hasta los 49 son como el roble, fuertes confiables...
Y a partir de los 50 son como los arbolitos de Navidad...
- ¿Arbolitos de navidad?
- Si mi amor...con el palo seco y las bolitas de adorno...!!!
P'ARRIBA
OTRA VEZ
(14) Nombre del Bebe
Siendo muy guapa
una chica, ella estaba un poco nerviosa respecto a que tenia que hacer si
algun chico queria propasarse. Su mama le dijo, "No
te preocupes, es muy facil. Cuando un chico se te acerque y quiera algo mas,
tu le preguntas, 'que nombre vamos a ponerle a nuestro bebe?'",
y eso lo va a asustar. Y con eso, se fue a la fiesta. En la fiesta, uno de
lo chicos empezo a bailar con ella y, poco a poco, a besarla y acariciarla.
Ella
le pregunto, "¿Que nombre vamos a ponerle a nuestro bebe?".
El chico invento una excusa y desaparecio. Un poco despues, la misma escena
volvio a suceder: un chico empezo a besarle el cuello, los hombros...
y cuando ella le pregunto por el nombre del bebe, el chico se fue a otro lado.
Mas tarde, otro chico la invito a dar un paseo y, despues de unos
minutos,empezo a besarla y ella le pregunto,"¿Que nombre vamos
a ponerle nuestro bebe?". El seguia besandola y empezo a quitarle la
ropa.
"¿Que nombre vamos a ponerle a nuestro bebe?", volvió
a preguntar ella. El empezo a hacerle el amor y ella volvio a preguntarle,
"¿Que nombre vamos a ponerle a nuestro bebe?!". Cuando termino,
el se saco el condon lleno,
le hizo un par de nudos y le dijo, "Si logra salir de aqui... sera David
Copperfield!".
P'ARRIBA
OTRA VEZ
(15) En honor a JC......
A murder has
been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing,
holding a 5 iron in his hands, looking at
the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, ";Sir, is that your wife?";
"Yes";
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did."; The man stifles a sob, drops the club, and puts
his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?";
"I don't know. Five, six, seven.....Put me down for a five
(16) Infant Size Penis
Jim decided to
propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy had to confess to her
man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease
that left her breasts at the maturity of 12 year old. He stated that it was
OK because he loved her soooo much. However, Jim felt this was also the time
for him to open up and admit that he also had a deformity too.
Jim looked Sandy in the eyes and said...."I too have a problem. My penis
is the same size as an infant and hope you could deal with that once we are
married.
She said, "Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis."
Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait for the Honeymoon. Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another...As Sandy put her hands in Jim's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!"
"Yes it is..... 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!!"
(17) Great Bars
A Scotsman, an
Italian, and an Irishman are in a bar and having a good time. The Scotsman
says, "Aye, this is very nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgee,
there's a better bar. At MacDougal's ye buy a drink, ye buy another drink,
and MacDougal himself will buy yir third drink!"
Then the Italian says, "Yeah, dat's a nice-a-bar, but where I come from,
dere's an even better one....... In Roma, dere's this place Vincenzo's. At
Vincenzo's, you buy a drink, Vincenzo buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink,
Vincenzo buys you anudda drink."
Then the Irishman says, "You tink dat's great? Where Oi come from in
Oirland, dere's dis place called Morphy's. At Morphy's dey boy you your forst
drink, dey boy you your second drink, dey boy you your tird drink, and den,
dey take you in de back and get you laid!"
Wow!" say the other two. That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to
you?"
No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!!!
(18) En honor a Garcia....
A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he laid the dog
on the table, Doctor Buck pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor
on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the Doc shook his head sadly and
said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away."
"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done
any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"
With that, Doc turned and left the room.
In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went
right to work, sniffing the poor dog on the table and checking him out thoroughly.
After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head
and went, "Woof."
The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments
with a cat, which walked around the poor dog several times and then sadly
shook his head and said, "Meow." He then jumped off the table and
ran out of the room.
The veterinarian said, "There's nothing more I can do." He handed
the man a bill for $600.
The dog's owner went postal. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This
is outrageous!"
Doctor Buck shook his head sadly and explained, "If you had taken my
word for it, the cost would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat
scan.
(19)
The golfer and the caddy
Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so. That would be too much of a coincidence."
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much
of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, but personally, I prefer golf."
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."
P'ARRIBA
OTRA VEZ
(20) BMW
Un tipo acaba
de comprarse un BMW, descapotable. Sale a la autopista en su nuevo auto, el
estéreo sonando con buena música, el sol dándole en todo
su esplendor. Pone el auto a 120 kms. por hora, 140 kms. por hora, 160 kms.
por hora. De repente, ve por el espejo retrovisor las luces azules y rojas
de un auto policial. "Este es un BMW, le resultará imposible alcanzarme"
- piensa y acelera.
Llega a 200, 220 kms. por hora pero la luz del auto policial sigue atrás.
En un ataque de conciencia, decide parar y espera.
El policía detiene su auto detrás, se acerca y le dice:
- "Mire, hoy estoy en un buen día y realmente llegué a
divertirme persiguiéndolo. Si me da una buena excusa por la cual iba
a 220 kms. por hora, le perdono la boleta" El conductor piensa unos segundos...
- "¿Sabe qué pasa, oficial?" - dice el conductor -
"¡La semana pasada mi esposa huyó de mi casa con un policía,
y realmente pensé que era Ud. que venía a devolvérmela!"
- "Siga nomás, que tenga un buen día" - responde el
policía.
(21) Two Sides of the Story
HER SIDE OF THE
STORY
He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar. I thought it might have been
my fault because I was late, but he didn't mention it specifically. I don't
remember doing anything to upset him, but something was wrong. I thought it
might help to go somewhere more intimate so we could talk, but it wasn't much
different at the restaurant . . . he was STILL acting strangely, depressed
even. I was getting really worried. What did I do? What was bothering him?
Was he mad at me? I asked him if he was upset with me and he said no. But
I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house I
said I loved him, and he just put his arm around me and I didn't know what
that meant because you know, he didn't say it back.
Back at his place, I thought he was going to break up with me. Why didn't he want to talk about this? So I tried to ask him about it again and he just switched on the TV. Why would he rather watch TV than talk to me? Reluctantly, I said I was going to sleep hoping he would get the hint that I was upset and wanted to talk. I was SO hurt that he was out there watching TV while I was in here going through emotional turmoil. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me in bed, we had some great foreplay and then had sex. I thought that maybe he would open up after we shared such an intimate experience, but he still seemed really distracted and distant. Well, I just wanted to leave, as upset as I was, but I just cried myself to sleep. He didn't even notice how upset I was! I don't know, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm on emotional overload. I'm so confused. I don't think he loves me anymore. Why does he have to play mind games with me? I mean do you think he's met someone else?
HIS SIDE OF THE
STORY
Played badly today -- shot 87 -- can't putt worth shit. Felt kinda tired.
Got laid though.
(22) Just a Halloween joke
A black man and
his wife were going to a Halloween party in a couple of days so the husband
tells his wife to go to the store and get
costumes for them to wear. When he comes home that night he goes into the
bedroom and there laid out on the bed is a Superman costume.
The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard
of a black Superman? Take this back and get me something else I
can wear."
The next day the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement.
The husband comes home from work goes to the bedroom
and there, laid out on the bed, is a Batman costume. He again yells at his
wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black
Batman? Take this shit back and get me something I can wear to the costume
party!"
The next morning his irate wife goes shopping. When the husband comes home
again from work, there laid out on the bed are three items:
one is a set of three white buttons, the second is a thick white belt, and
the third item is a 2 x 4.
The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?"
The wife yells back, "Take your clothes off. You can put the three white
buttons on the front of you and go as a domino.
If you don't like that one, you can put the white belt on and go as an Oreo.
And if you don't like THAT one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go
as a fudgesickle.
(24) Super Sex
A man at a nursing home took Viagra and went to the lunch room, where the residents were playing Bingo. To get their attention he yelled out, "SUPER SEX!, Super Sex!" The ladies yelled back: "I want the SOUP!", "Soup, Please." "Oh, I'd love some soup!"
(25) Little Tommy's Dead Frog
One day, little
Tommy wanders into the local brothel, dragging a dead frog on a piece of string
along behind him (FX: thud thud thud etc.) He goes up to the woman at the
front and says "Please, Miss, I'd like a girl please." "Go
home, sonny" replies the proprietor, not unkindly, "you're too young
yet for this."
Tommy reaches into his pocket and drags out a $50 note which he slaps on the
desk and beams brightly. "Up the stairs, 3rd door on the right"
comes the reply as the $50 vanishes.
Tommy starts to climb the stairs, (Thud thud etc.) when he runs back again. "I forgot, this girl has got to have active herpes!" he cries. "No way kid, all our girls are clean!" Tommy reaches into the other pocket and another $50 appears. "Ahh, last door on the left..." he is told. Tommy climbs the stairs, still dragging the dead frog on the string (thud thud thud), and some time later reappears. He waves to the woman at the front desk and is about to go out (avec frog) when she calls him back. "I can understand curiosity at your age," she says, "but why the active herpes?" "Well," says Tommy, "when I go home, the babysitter will be there. I'll screw her before she goes home and she'll get the herpes. Later on, dad'll take her home and have her in the back of the Mercedes, and he'll get the herpes. Later on, he'll get back and jump on mummy and she will get the herpes too. In the morning, daddy'll go to work, the milkman will come and get in bed with mummy and he'll get the herpes and HE'S THE BASTARD WHO RAN OVER MY FROG!"